It’s a tradition. Thousands of Canadian children don skates and train in minor hockey leagues, some from the time they learn to walk. Good sportsmanship and teamwork are supposed to be the main lessons learned, but they’ve recently been overshadowed by the drive to win at any cost. Nowadays, belligerent parents, sometimes captured on YouTube, yell at their offspring to “hit harder” on the ice while they fight amongst themselves in the stands. Parents exchange insults, shoves, punches, slaps, and threats. Homicides have even occurred.

Only a small fraction of parents are guilty of this hockey madness, but their actions carry broad repercussions, including costly litigation, wasted resources, and damage to the reputation of a time-honoured sport. Now minor hockey organizations in most provinces try to safeguard players’ enthusiasm by making parents pass a “respect in sports” course before their kids hit the ice.

At a recent community awareness event hosted by Sports4Kids, most parents interviewed bemoaned the current state of minor hockey, insisting that problems caused by a few were ruining things for everyone. Fredericton parent Janis Fanshaw said both her sons started playing at age 5, burned out after multiple injuries, and now, to her disappointment, shun all team sports. She blames her sons’ injuries on “hockey parents who bullied their kids to bully mine.” Former hockey parent Meg Nakamura felt her daughter had a milder experience with bullies, but a fair bit of peer pressure. “She eventually turned to soccer instead,” Nakamura recalled.

Addressing the 100 attendees, Sports4Kids director Luigi Pubnico offered this advice to parents: “Let kids choose their own sports. They’ll not only get off the couch and get moving, they’ll excel at doing what they love. Just don’t let them develop big egos—they’re a lifelong hindrance.” In the subsequent open-mic discussion, one parent, Jose Aldana, insisted that even reluctantly playing any competitive sport will give kids the self-discipline they need to succeed in life. However, self-described “recovering hockey dad” Steve Kosinski said, “Organized sports destroy a kid’s spirit and bring out the worst in parents. Just forget organized sports entirely until your kid’s at least eighteen.”