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Practice Writing: Write Essay ID: #698 Role Models R1
Instructions

Successful sports stars and glamorous film stars are role models for youngsters. Do you agree with this statement?

* Write your essay below (between 200 and 300 words)

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Model Answer Perfect answer
Successful sports stars and glamorous film stars are role models for youngsters. Do you agree with this statement?
Highlights
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Successful sports figures and glamorous film stars are frequently portrayed as people worthy of imitation, especially by young audiences. However, I largely disagree that fame in these fields automatically makes an individual a suitable role model. Although celebrity success can appear motivating, it rarely offers balanced or realistic guidance for healthy personal development.

One major concern is that achievement in professional sport and cinema is extremely rare and depends on talent, opportunity, and chance as much as sustained effort. Youngsters tend to focus on visible rewards such as wealth, popularity, and physical appearance, while ignoring years of training, repeated failure, and extensive external support. Consequently, unrealistic ambitions may displace commitment to education or practical skill building, leading to disappointment when similar success proves unattainable.

Furthermore, the public conduct of many stars is shaped by commercial pressure rather than social responsibility. Media attention often concentrates on scandals involving cheating, substance misuse, or aggressive behaviour, which can subtly normalise such actions. Although some celebrities demonstrate discipline or charitable concern, these qualities are inconsistent and frequently overshadowed by self-promotion, making them unreliable guides for ethical judgement.

In conclusion, despite their potential to spark ambition, sports and film stars should not be viewed as primary role models for youngsters. More dependable influences, including parents, teachers, and community leaders, offer attainable examples and stable values that better support long-term growth and responsible behaviour.

228 words
26/ 26
Perfect answerPTE Academic · Write Essay
Tap a highlighted sentence to see why it scores
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Fully addresses the prompt in depth, showing full command of the argument by reformulating the issue in the writer's own words and expanding important points with specificity.
  • The argument is supported convincingly with subsidiary points and relevant examples throughout the response.
How this answer meets itThe essay gives a clear disagreeing opinion and supports it with a strong reason. I largely disagree that fame in these fields automatically makes an individual a suitable role modelwhile ignoring years of training, repeated failure, and extensive external support
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Has an effective logical structure, flows smoothly, and can be followed with ease.
  • The argument is clear and cohesive and developed systematically at length; a well-developed introduction and conclusion are present, and ideas are organised cohesively into clear, logically sequenced paragraphs.
  • Uses a variety of connective devices effectively and consistently to convey relationships between ideas.
How this answer meets itLinking words connect the two concerns and lead to a clear ending. ConsequentlyFurthermoreAlthoughIn conclusiondespite
PTE criteria · full marks
  • A variety of expressions and vocabulary are used appropriately to formulate ideas with ease and precision throughout the response.
  • No signs of limitations restricting what can be communicated.
  • Errors in language use, if present, are rare and minor, and meaning is completely clear.
How this answer meets itThe writer uses a concession clause and a relative clause with precision. Although celebrity success can appear motivatingwhich can subtly normalise such actions
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Shows consistent grammatical control of complex language. Errors are rare and difficult to spot.
How this answer meets itThis complex sentence with a reason clause is fully correct. achievement in professional sport and cinema is extremely rare and depends on talent, opportunity, and chance
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Good command of a broad lexical repertoire, idiomatic expressions and collocations.
How this answer meets itPrecise academic words show a broad vocabulary. worthy of imitationcommercial pressuresubstance misuseethical judgement
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Correct spelling.
How this answer meets itSpelling is correct, with British spelling used. normalisebehaviour
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Length is within the required 200 to 300 words.
How this answer meets itThe essay has 228 words, which is inside the required range. It is a clear four-paragraph essay.
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