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Practice Writing: Write Essay ID: #36962 Position of women
Instructions

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Highlights
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Over the past two decades, women in society have moved into paid work alongside continuing shifts in family life. Some people argue that juvenile delinquency stems from working married women who are absent from home. I largely disagree, because the problems of young people are better explained by broad social conditions and by the quality, not the quantity, of parental care at home.

The primary drivers of juvenile delinquency among young people are socioeconomic pressure, peer influence, and weakened community structures rather than the work that married women do. Moreover, in households facing insecure jobs or housing, stress reduces effective care for children regardless of which parent works. For instance, neighbourhoods with poor schools and limited youth services report higher offending by young people even when a mother stays at home, showing that structural factors matter more.

Furthermore, women who work can strengthen the family by improving income and by becoming financially independent, especially for daughters who watch a capable woman balance career and home. Dual-earner families often invest in organised childcare and after-school programmes, and shared parenting by men and women, which enhances the care each child receives. Admittedly, neglect can occur in any home, yet it is wrong to single out married women when supportive government policy strongly shapes youth outcomes.

In conclusion, although family routines have changed, blaming the work of women for juvenile delinquency is misplaced. Social inequality, community resources, and engaged parenting by both parents matter far more to young people. Therefore, I disagree to a large extent, and I contend that society should support the family rather than restrict the roles of women.

269 words
26/ 26
Perfect answerPTE Academic · Write Essay
Tap a highlighted sentence to see why it scores
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Fully addresses the prompt in depth, showing full command of the argument by reformulating the issue in the writer's own words and expanding important points with specificity.
  • The argument is supported convincingly with subsidiary points and relevant examples throughout the response.
How this answer meets itThe writer gives a clear opinion and supports it with a real example. The thesis disagrees, and the example shows structural causes matter more. I largely disagree, because the problems of young people are better explained by broad social conditionsneighbourhoods with poor schools and limited youth services report higher offending by young people even when a mother stays at home
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Has an effective logical structure, flows smoothly, and can be followed with ease.
  • The argument is clear and cohesive and developed systematically at length; a well-developed introduction and conclusion are present, and ideas are organised cohesively into clear, logically sequenced paragraphs.
  • Uses a variety of connective devices effectively and consistently to convey relationships between ideas.
How this answer meets itThe essay links ideas and paragraphs with varied connectors. These keep the argument logical and smooth. MoreoverFor instanceFurthermoreAdmittedlyIn conclusionTherefore
PTE criteria · full marks
  • A variety of expressions and vocabulary are used appropriately to formulate ideas with ease and precision throughout the response.
  • No signs of limitations restricting what can be communicated.
  • Errors in language use, if present, are rare and minor, and meaning is completely clear.
How this answer meets itThe writer builds complex sentences with concessive and relative clauses with ease. Meaning is completely clear. Admittedly, neglect can occur in any home, yet it is wrong to single out married womenthe quality, not the quantity, of parental care at home
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Shows consistent grammatical control of complex language. Errors are rare and difficult to spot.
How this answer meets itThis complex sentence uses a relative clause accurately. The grammar stays under full control. Dual-earner families often invest in organised childcare and after-school programmes
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Good command of a broad lexical repertoire, idiomatic expressions and collocations.
How this answer meets itThe essay uses precise academic words and collocations. These show a broad word range. juvenile delinquencysocioeconomic pressurefinancially independentSocial inequality
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Correct spelling.
How this answer meets itSpelling is correct, including British forms. These words are spelled accurately. organisedneighbourhoods
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Length is within the required 200 to 300 words.
How this answer meets itThe essay has 269 words, which is inside the 200 to 300 range. It is a clear four-paragraph essay.
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