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Practice Writing: Write Essay ID: #36213 Rates of diabetes
Instructions

Rates of diabetes and obesity are increasing in many countries around the world. Some people think that governments should ban soft drinks and sugary snacks from schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?

* Write your essay below (between 200 and 300 words)

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Model Answer Perfect answer
Rates of diabetes and obesity are increasing in many countries around the world. Some people think that governments should ban soft drinks and sugary snacks from schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?
Highlights
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Rising rates of diabetes and obesity have intensified debate about children's diets, particularly within schools. Clearly, I largely agree that governments should ban soft drinks and sugary snacks from school settings, because these institutions shape daily consumption habits and have a duty to protect enduring public health.

Firstly, banning these products reduces the constant exposure of students to excessive sugar during their formative years. For instance, when school canteens prioritise water, fruit, and balanced meals, healthier choices become the default rather than an exception for children. Moreover, replacing fizzy soft drinks with milk or water can lower daily sugar intake and gradually influence taste preferences, supporting the prevention of diabetes rather than costly treatment. Consequently, a firm government ban on sugary snacks in schools directly addresses the environment in which childhood obesity develops.

Admittedly, critics argue that such a ban limits personal freedom and shifts responsibility for health away from families. However, schools already regulate safety and learning, so nutrition is a comparable public health concern that governments may reasonably address. Specifically, children spend much of their day on campus, and unrestricted access to soft drinks and sugary snacks undermines the health education taught in classrooms.

Therefore, prohibiting these products in schools is a proportionate response to rising rates of diabetes and obesity. In particular, by reducing harmful exposure and reinforcing health education, such a ban supports students' wellbeing without eliminating choice beyond school boundaries. Ultimately, governments should implement these restrictions on soft drinks and sugary snacks in schools as part of a broader strategy against childhood obesity and preventable disease.

261 words
26/ 26
Perfect answerPTE Academic · Write Essay
Tap a highlighted sentence to see why it scores
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Fully addresses the prompt in depth, showing full command of the argument by reformulating the issue in the writer's own words and expanding important points with specificity.
  • The argument is supported convincingly with subsidiary points and relevant examples throughout the response.
How this answer meets itThe essay clearly agrees that schools should ban sugary items. It supports this with an example about school canteens. I largely agree that governments should ban soft drinks and sugary snacks from school settingswhen school canteens prioritise water, fruit, and balanced meals, healthier choices become the default
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Has an effective logical structure, flows smoothly, and can be followed with ease.
  • The argument is clear and cohesive and developed systematically at length; a well-developed introduction and conclusion are present, and ideas are organised cohesively into clear, logically sequenced paragraphs.
  • Uses a variety of connective devices effectively and consistently to convey relationships between ideas.
How this answer meets itThe essay uses many linking words to open each new idea. This keeps the order clear and easy to follow. FirstlyMoreoverConsequentlyAdmittedlyTherefore
PTE criteria · full marks
  • A variety of expressions and vocabulary are used appropriately to formulate ideas with ease and precision throughout the response.
  • No signs of limitations restricting what can be communicated.
  • Errors in language use, if present, are rare and minor, and meaning is completely clear.
How this answer meets itThe writer uses concession and cause clauses with ease. The examples below show varied structures. critics argue that such a ban limits personal freedombecause these institutions shape daily consumption habits
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Shows consistent grammatical control of complex language. Errors are rare and difficult to spot.
How this answer meets itThe sentence below shows correct complex grammar with a linked reason. It is clear and accurate. schools already regulate safety and learning, so nutrition is a comparable public health concern
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Good command of a broad lexical repertoire, idiomatic expressions and collocations.
How this answer meets itThe essay uses precise words and good pairings on the topic. They fit the health argument well. formative yearsdaily sugar intakeproportionate responseharmful exposure
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Correct spelling.
How this answer meets itThe spelling is correct, including the British form below. Both words are spelled well. prioritisewellbeing
PTE criteria · full marks
  • Length is within the required 200 to 300 words.
How this answer meets itThe essay is 261 words, which is in the 200 to 300 range. It is a clear four-paragraph essay.
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